Marcellina, Part III

Holy Moses.  I am so tired.  Did I realize how much freaking work Opera was going to be?  Heck no.  Performance of Nozze is one week away, and I will basically do nothing but eat, sleep and drink Mozart (and maybe one or two beers) for the rest of the week.  Which will make it the third week in a row.

So that's the reason I haven't posted.  If I had posted it would have been the 'Oh Crap!  I'm fired' freakout I had at least three times in the past week, which would have been followed up with 'Phew! Not fired!'.  The most recent occurrence of this pattern was on Thursday this week, when the Musical Director said he was worried about me in front of everyone.  Which was followed by a major anxiety attack, a great night of not sleeping and questioning my existence, which was then followed on Friday morning with a very rigorous coaching, a clear strategy set, and a lot of encouragement.  This guy has got my number-- scare the crap out of me so I'm listening and then tell me he believes in me.  I work really hard under these conditions, apparently.  I don't really want to know what that says about me.

All this to say, that I'm being inducted into the crazy world of performance personalities.  I'm also being humbled by the incredible talent that surrounds me-- some amazingly good voices in the group, and I'm honored to be among them.   Most of all, I'm learning how to focus, how to execute, and how to quiet all the voices that crop up at the most inconvenient times to derail any real work that's being done and lead tired, unwary me down paths of 'This is what always happens to me...', 'Why did I wait so long to do this? I'm so behind'.  Blah blah blah.

And for that, I have a book recommendation.  The book The Inner Game of Tennis was recommended to me by two different people within a day of each other, and so I grabbed the last copy at Barnes and Noble.  This book is subtitled The Classic Guide to Peak Mental Performance, and can be applied easily to any performance or competitive endeavor.  I honestly think that book saved my ass this week.

Can you say ass on a blog?  I guess we'll find out.   For those of you who pray out there and are kind enough to add me to your list, pray that I would run and not grow weary.   Muchas Gracias.