Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Living in the face of uncertainty without fear

I don't know if I have anything really profound to say on this subject, but I like the line.   I've been grappling with fear on a kind of low-grade basis for the past 24 hours, which is not surprising to me.  I have just come through a period of great activity and success, and now, after two days of recuperating, doing laundry and catching up on TV and netflix, the question stares me in the face: now what?  Which gets stretched into "what am I doing this for, anyway?" and "how much money do I have in my bank account?" and "wouldn't life be so much easier if I just got a REAL job?"  So I decided to do what I always should do when I feel that way-- go to the gym.

Working out seems to relieve, at least momentarily, a lot of the 'what am I doing again?' feelings that can accumulate in my bones and muscles and leaves me feeling less in my head and happy to be alive.  And it did.  And as an added bonus, while I was reading a magazine while going fast and high on the elliptical machine, this snippet from a sentence in an article caught my eye:  living in the face of uncertainty without fear. 

So that is my prayer and goal for this week-- that I can somehow walk, then jog, then run toward the next thing with joy in my heart, trusting God, enjoying life, and believing that God really can teach me to live so that the words of the Psalmist are a living reality:  I will fear NO evil, for You are with me.

1 comment:

  1. I relate! Stumbled on this just this week-- it's a similar prayer:

    "God guard me from thoughts men think in the mind alone/he who sings a lasting song thinks in the marrow bone."

    ~Yeats

    Congrats on all your recent successes... much love! ~J

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