Hello there. I'm back. There's major change afoot, and I'll tell you all about it sometime. In the meantime, I thought you might this is as funny as I did.
So, I'm on eHarmony in the hopes of actually meeting a living, breathing Christian man to date in NYC. And I'm actually having a pretty good response, partially because I extended the age range of matches I would accept to include the 40-45 year old crowd. Man, I am a spring chicken compared to guys who were born in the 60's. I don't even want to think about trying to learn another person's favorite decade of rock and roll when I never even learned my own.
Tonight I got a set of questions from a guy named Steve, who answered my questions with very bland Christianese, even on questions that didn't call for any religious view whatsoever. I admit, it irritated me. And then I read his questions. Uh-oh. He committed item #1 on Joanna's cardinal sin list-- multiple spelling mistakes. I know its catty and probably explains why I am on eHarmony in the first place instead of lounging at home on a couch with a husband, but I couldn't help making up the following fictional replies to the questions he sent me and sharing them with you:
# Outside of your Faith , what are the most important things, goals, or dreams in your life?
fake answer: I dream of a world in which words that need not be capitalized are not capitalized.
# What turns you on about a man? What keeps you passionate about them?
fake answer: Not asking inappropriate questions to women they don't really know. Correct use of pronouns.
# Have you ever given 100 percent to a activity for an extended period of time?
fake answer: Yes, hunting for missing n's.
